Daring to Declare

1 Chronicles 4:10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So, God granted him what he requested.

Daring to Declare

Some friends and I recently attended a seminar and the speaker said, “When you know your ‘why’ the ‘what’ has more purpose.” I found that simple statement very profound. Can you imagine if we took to time to look beyond our “what” and considered why it is important, the ‘why’ behind performing certain tasks or why God has led us in a certain direction?

How much easier would it be to get through the “what”? Would knowing the purpose help us tackle our “why’s,” those tasks and assignments with pride and joy? Would we look at those “what’s” in a whole new light if we understood how, it may affect someone else? The answer I came to is, yes.

I know we do not always understand the why. Sometimes the why is not always clear and that makes it harder when we are going through a difficult season of our lives. There are times, God needs to build our faith or patience, so he does not show us the ‘why’ right away. And there are times God is testing our faith to ensure we will trust why and where he is leading us.

I had been Praying the Prayer of Jabez daily for a few months, asking God, “Please bless me abundantly and increase my territory, expand, and bless my ministry, advance my career, and path that I might bless others. Lord, please keep me from temptation that I may not harm myself or others.”

I was in a season of my life where God was beginning to grant my requests, but this meant tremendous changes. Our new ministry was growing but there were also changes coming in my career. When the realization hit me, and I knew what God was leading me to do fear began to creep in. Because this meant totally trusting God, but also battling some old fears. These fears ran deep inside of me, things that had been instilled in me for over 30 years. The enemy knew this and tried to get into my mind and impact my thoughts and my physical and mental health.

Like many young people starting out, I went through times where financial fears ruled my life. Times when nothing ever seemed to go right. I was in a marriage where neither of us had a clear picture of what we wanted as a career. We lived paycheck to paycheck never knowing if it would stretch. We went through job losses so many times I am not sure I could ever recall all of them throughout the years. We hit financial bottom more times than I can count and at times to the point we did not have a place to live. These fears came back quickly! That terror of not knowing where you were sleep, how you were going to provide for your child and the failures of the past were so imbedded in my being the thoughts of this type of change scared me to death.

I eventually grew up and had gotten things together and after 20 years in my career, I had finally made it to a point where I felt financially secure in my life. We were not rich, but I owned my own home, could pay the bills, and had extra money tucked away for the future. The thought of giving that up was terrifying. I had worked for my employer for over 2 years and although it was a tough job with high stress moments it was a stable good paying position. The best paying job I had ever had and the economic climate we were beginning to see in this country intensified my fears.

But I knew God had instilled in my spirit multiple times; it was time to resign my current roll. I prayed and I asked God, “If I am to leave my current position make it clear to me and if I am to stay open up an opportunity and grant me a chance to advance with this company.”

Then unexpectedly, an opening in management came along, I cannot say I was not a little bit excited. The manager of my department was going to retire, and they were extending the opportunity for anyone in the department who was interested. I thought God was granting my prayers, just like Jabez and I was going to get an opportunity for advancement, God was expanding my territory. I had worked for 20 years in my field and felt I had the background and experience to take on this roll and I submitted my resume that very day. But my employer did not see it the same way and again confirming what I already knew. I did not get offered the opportunity; I did not even get an interview. God made this perfectly clear. But there are times I am just stubborn, and my fear intensified these emotions! My mind took over the old fears of the past came back, and anxiety and panic sat in, and I was a mess. It got to the point I had to take a medical leave of absence to resolve my severe anxiety and paralyzing panic attacks. At first, I did not understand why I was suddenly experiencing such panic over my job, especially to the point of needing a leave of absence. It took a bit but, I realized I was fighting my battle in the flesh instead of relying on God and the armor his Holy Spirit provides to each of us.

 During my leave I spent a lot of time with God. During the day I spent time reading, writing, praying, and listening to worship music. I spent time looking at options to help protect my family financially and I applied for new jobs daily and continued to pray for guidance, and then the God sent the dreams.

Now, I am not one who remembers my dreams on a regular basis. But I have learned when I have a dream that is extremely vivid that sticks with me for days that I need to write it down. I have learned there is some important message in that dream.

• Dream one: It was my first day back to work after my leave, for some reason, I had to go into a different room, which I found odd because I worked from home. I was lost and no matter what direction I tried to go I could not find my way back. Every door took me into a different room that reminded me of a previous employer. The last door I went through took me to the break room from a job I had left over 7 years earlier. Two of my ex-coworkers, who were close to me, were sitting at the break table. Neither of these ladies were employed by that company any longer, one had passed away a few years prior.
  • My Interpretation: I am not supposed to find my way back to this position. The old is dead and buried and the door is shut, locked, and I am not to struggle to find my way back.
  • Dream two: I received a text from a friend from work saying she was so sorry I had resigned and would miss me. Well, I was confused because I had not resigned my position! So, I checked and sure enough there was an e-mail to our department, informing them that I had resigned my position with the company.
    • Interpretation: Time to resign before they resign me, or I had a deep-seated fear that my company would terminate me upon my return to work.

The Lord sent me both dreams once again showing me it was time to resign my current position. Deep inside, I knew what I had to do and knew it was time as well. But God knows us better than we know ourselves and it was during this time I came across a social media live video from one of former pastors. God knew me well enough to know I needed just a little more confirmation. Yes, if you have not figured it out, I am hardheaded at times and often I struggle with whether my choices are truly the right decisions.

But, just as God knows better than we know ourselves, the enemy knows us too. The enemy tried to use my past fears and finanical insecurities against me. We know in our spirit what God is leading us to do but past fears begin to creep in, and our flesh takes over. I call this my Flesh-man trying to overcome my sprit-man, the Holy Spirit that lives inside of each of us. The social media message from my former pastor hit me right upside my head. It was like she knew exactly what I was struggling with and what I needed to hear. Right down to the details of being overlooked for a promotion to the anxiety and panic attacks. I cannot imagine that being anything else but a divine intervention from God. Once again, God showed up at just the right time with the right message. Confirming for me without a doubt exactly what path I needed to take.

The next week I informed my employer I would not be returning to my position with the company and within two hours I had a request for a second interview for a new position in a management roll, within 24 hours I received notice of our loan approval, and by the end of the week I had a request to apply for another position with a university. Once I took the step of faith God started opening doors.

Now, going back to the initial profound statement. I have learned if I trust God with the ‘why,’ and we have faith in God’s goodness, the ‘what’ becomes just another step because I dare to declare my destiny, the destiny God has planned just for me, and knowing that God will provide if I trust in him.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ‘” — Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)